Think You're "Stupid"? Here's What to Do to Overcome a Negative Mindset

We can all suffer from the perception that we are not enough from time to time. Our inadequacies manifest themselves in different ways, and we can all encounter someone or something that makes us question our entire ability to do something. This is something we see so much in children. They can say that they are stupid, and this is something that we can think too. If you or someone else believes they are like this, it's important to remember that the term "stupid" or any lack of belief in oneself is subjective and can be very hurtful, even if we say it about ourselves because it self-perpetuates this myth. Here are a few things to do if we think we are below par.

Embodying a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is something that we can incorporate into our lives. Being focused on continuous development rather than having fixed abilities can flip the switch over time. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed with subjects beyond our capability. For instance, you might not know what is a firewall, but that's absolutely fine because the reality is that in sectors such as IT and computing, explanations can be overly technical. Sometimes we need to remember that understanding a subject is not literally taking it at face value but rather breaking things apart so we can understand smaller components that eventually add up to our ability to comprehend something. 

The best example is in learning a language. So many people feel they can't learn a language because they are trying to learn a whole language rather than a word or a fragment and eventually a sentence. Children have to learn how to stick words together, and this is something that we all need to remember. If you think that your abilities are fixed, remember the concept of neuroplasticity, where our brains adapt to new stimuli, still occurs long after we've grown up!

Understand Cognitive Biases

Feelings of inadequacy can come from cognitive bias. This ability to think less of ourselves and our skills is easily done. We can all feel a sense of self-preservation in life if we have a bad experience in trying to learn something or we tell ourselves that we're not able to do something, which is why the aforementioned growth mindset is important but also recognizing where your cognitive biases come from can make a massive difference. 

When we understand what our biases are, we can learn to challenge and re-frame these unhealthful thoughts. This is a practice that occurs in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, where somebody has a negative perception of themselves and has become part of the background noise of their mind. When we recognize what our hatred towards ourselves is, only then can these preconceived notions be challenged. 

Often these preconceived notions can come from others. If you feel like you can't do something because of the perceptions of others, you might be surprised as to how you're able to do something when you take yourself out of that situation and immerse yourself in a group of people who don't know your supposed lack of abilities. This can be the perfect opportunity to take a night class and to develop that in a confident way that you can start to apply in every other aspect of your life.

Positive Affirmations

This is a key part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well. When we use positive affirmations, this can challenge our negative self-perceptions over time because we are retraining our brains to think more positively. It's not enough to think the statements but to actually say them. Because our brains are incredibly fickle, if you tell yourself that you can't do something, your brain will reinforce this. So if you tell yourself the opposite, the brain will follow suit. 

Positive affirmations can't be general, especially if you're trying to learn a new skill. Instead, you need to focus on your strengths, which could be hard to find if you have a negative mindset. There is always something you can do that you have perceived as good or great. This is why you need to focus on your thoughts about something because negative people, over time, can rely on others for some form of reinforcement as we've depleted all our resources. 

Positive affirmations are a very simple thing but can be the perfect starting point to learning lessons in life so we can benefit, but also pass on these lessons to our kids. We have to remember that if we think we have a negative mindset, our children are going to follow suit, so it is critical to stop this in our tracks as soon as possible.